What’s up folks. Welcome to my grey matter. Four things you should know.
1. I do the What’s Up movie and calendar pages and some of the Facebooking.
2. I nerdgasmed in front of our publisher, Secret Wherrett, about “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice” coming out this week, and that is why I’m guest columning.
3. My “head shot” illustration is by Erin Pfirman, What’s Up’s event sales and marketing manager.
4. I was asked who would really win between Batman and Superman, which set the topic of my column.
I’m going with Superman. I want Batman to win, but he can’t. Even though he has beaten Superman in the comics, it just doesn’t make sense. Superman can travel at insane speeds, see immense distances, hear heartbeats, etc. – so he wins by default. In the comics, Batman wins because he’s smarter and luckier, but a sad, lonely man with a cool car and non-lethal projectiles ain’t beating Superman, ever.
In the movie “Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice,” who takes the fajitas on that one? “Justice League: Part One” drops next November, so whichever hero wins doesn’t matter, because it’s only important that they fight. Batman will take the brawl, but he’ll be impotent without Superman, and then both will need Wonder Woman, blah blah blah.
I think there’s something deeper to dig into this. Why am I rooting for the Batman? Or better yet, why is it important to me that Superman loses? He’s the last member of an extraterrestrial race that destroyed itself with war and he’s not a metahuman (i.e., not better than human). He just gets kickass powers from our sun’s radiation – superpowers that are more of a pain in the ass than anything else. I think I want Batman to win because he’s the underdog, because he’s human. But what's inhuman about Superman? How isn't he an underdog?
Maybe I want Batman to win because Superman represents some sort of Big Brother-like figure to me; somebody who’s just going to take control and do as he pleases because he can and he thinks he should. But there’s no evidence. Supes wants to help people and sometimes he flubs it, but I believe in As for effort. I see Superman for what he is: a really powerful cat who is still powerless to stop reality, i.e., stop chance. I’m sure even Superman stubs his toe.
Aren’t I just some big jerk for wanting something awful to happen to this nice extraterrestrial? I mean, what in me needs to see something so good destroyed? I don’t think there’s an answer now or ever, but at least I know there’s a question. A for effort. Clark Kent’s pants fall down, too.
Now I’m rooting for Superman because I’m young and life is long and I need to believe something can punch life in the face. I mean if Superman can’t win, what chance is there for me?